Individual support after broken trust
Counselling after infidelity and betrayal
I provide a caring place to understand what has happened, where we can attend to your needs and you can consider a way forward. I offer specialized counselling for individual partners impacted by betrayal, sexually compulsive behaviour, and sex addiction.
What happens in counselling sessions
Discovering an affair, an emotional relationship, hidden pornography use or other deception can change how you understand the person closest to you and how you feel in the relationship. You may be facing a recent discovery, learning new information over time, or carrying pain from a relationship that has ended. I support people affected by a partner’s compulsive sexual behaviour, sex addiction, pornography use or repeated sexual betrayal. Our work is talk therapy focusing on your experience, wellbeing and choices. Support typically covers three stages, which can also overlap: safety and stabilization; remembering and mourning; and integration and reconnection (based on the APSATS model and Dr. Judith L. Herman's work on trauma and recovery). Within those stages your unique needs are supported.
You do not need to have a complete account of what happened before seeking support. We can begin with what is affecting you now.
Support that begins with you
Our sessions focus on your experience. There is room for the practical difficulties of getting through a day, as well as grief, anger, questions, uncertainty, and when you are ready, for you to plan future steps.
Together, we can explore what helps you feel steadier, how you want to respond to reminders that are activating, and what boundaries support your wellbeing. We can also consider the effect on your confidence, your relationships, your identity and the future you had imagined. As you begin to feel safer and steadier, there may be more room to grieve, reconnect with yourself, and consider what you want for your future.
You do not have to decide everything now such as whether to stay or leave
Seeking individual counselling does not commit you to staying in or leaving a relationship. These are individual sessions for you; your partner does not attend with you and does not need to be in counselling for you to begin.
I will support you in considering your circumstances, safety, commitments and values without directing you towards a particular relationship outcome. Another person's choice to deceive you is not your responsibility; caring for yourself is where you can create some healthy control and agency in your life.
A thoughtful, grounded approach to counselling after betrayal
I am Carla Duda, Psychotherapist, RCC, CCC. My approach is informed by attachment theory and existential-humanistic therapy, and I am APSATS trained in the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM).
We will work at a pace we agree on together. There is no expectation that you should quickly forgive, feel ready for closeness or have the right words for what you are carrying.
Related reading
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